In the beginning, there was chaos, and the chaos was the infantry, the queen of battle. However, the queen was alone. And fear was with the infantry, so she cried out unto the Lord saying, "Lord save me for I am afraid!"
And the Lord heard her grunts and set some of the infantry on beasts of burden, and these he called the cavalry, and the cavalry became armor. And when the Lord saw what he had done, he laughed saying, "Well, you can't win them all!"
As time passed, the infantry and the armor again cried out unto the Lord saying, "Lord save us, for we are afraid." The Lord heard their cries and decided to end their weepings.
The Lord said unto them, "I shall send unto you a race of men noble in heart and spirit."
And the Lord created the Field Artillery, and named them the King of Battle.
And the Lord said unto the infantry and armor, "When it is dark, the King shall light your way. And when you need smoke, there shall be smoke, and when you need it to rain down death and destruction upon the enemy, you shall have it."
And the Lord gave the King big guns and big bullets. And the infantry and armor were jealous, for they had not. And the Lord gave the artillery rockets and missiles and nukes.
And when the infantry and armor saw this, they fell to their knees in awesome wonder, saying surely the Lord is on the side of the artillery, the King of Battle.
And the Lord said, "CHECK!"
Yes, I married one.
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