March 05, 2009

Sir Teddy of Chappaquiddick

Queen Elizabeth II, in her infinitely dubious wisdom, has granted Senator Edward Kennedy an honorary knighthood. 

 But then QE II had also bestowed honorary knighthoods upon Nicolae Ceausecue and Robert Mugabe (both have since been rescinded). 

  Perhaps Sir Teddy will be known as the Lord of Chappaquiddick. 

 I especially like this account by Earl Grey at The Spoof:

It has been confirmed today that Ted Kennedy is to be knighted for services to car driving. In a controversial move Gordon Broon confirmed that the US senator was to be made a nit of the British Empire. The award will be bestowed upon Kennedy during a ceremony at Chippaquiddick.

The event will be attended by many famous politicians and celebrities. Simon and Garfunkel will perform "Bridge Over Troubled Water" in honour of the new Sir Ted. There is much debate as to whether these awards have any relevance in modern society. The British Empire once stretched around the globe. Now you are a Knight of an area the size of Hemel Hempstead. However, some still believe that an award bestowed by the Queen counts for something.

Ted Kennedy was asked to comment. "I was not drunk. I did not drive carelessly. It was a long time ago."

Miss Mary Jo Kopechne was unavailable for comment.

 

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