Beachwood, Ohio, has canceled its annual Fourth of July Recreational Baseball League All-Star Game for 9-to 12-year-olds because "singling out certain kids as better players than others can hurt youthful self-confidence".
Santas in Sydney are rebelling against attempts to replace their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho," with "ha, ha, ha," because "ho, ho, ho," could be derogatory to women.
The Portsmouth, England, City Council informed a woman with an inflatable two-foot wading pool in her backyard that she must have a lifeguard on duty.
(NF: She should get an inflatable one.)
The British Youth Justice Board recommended that youths who hang around in groups committing anti-social acts should no longer be referred to as "gangs" because some youths who hang around in groups committing anti-social acts might find the word offensive.
In Tunbridge Wells, England, the borough council has banned the term "brainstorming" and replaced it with "thought showers," saying they fear the phrase might offend epileptics or the mentally ill.
Officials in West Cross, Wales, have announced plans to cut down a 50-foot pine tree in the village green because pine needles are sharp and might poke someone.
A high school senior in Apple Valley, Minn., was expelled for violating her school's zero-tolerance weapons policy when she purchased an 18-inch "Lord of the Rings" souvenir sword as a Father's Day gift while on a spring break choir trip in England 4,000 miles away.
(NF: perhaps they were afraid she would create an army of Uruk-hai.)
(Former) Attorney General Michael Mukasey, explaining the lack of prosecutions in the Justice Department scandals, says that "not every violation of the law is a crime."
A village drama group in Kent, England, preparing to stage "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" for their Christmas play, has been told that they have to change the term "dwarfs" to "gnomes" or "guardians of the forest."
In Los Angeles, a TV director was detained for five hours by airport security after he commented that he was there to "shoot a pilot."
(NF: The TSA hard at work (hardly working). )
St. Nicholas has been banned from kindergartens in Vienna, Austria, because public officials say that the sight of a strange man with a beard might "create fear" in small children.
(NF: Let's hope that Jesus makes his return clean-shaven.)