April 20, 2010


I think part of a best friend's job is to clear your computer history when you die.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell do you fold a fitted sheet?
Neatly, that is.

MapQuest needs to start their directions at #5. I can find my way out of my own neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I really don't want to have to start my collection over. Again.

I hate missing a call by the last ring and when you call back immediately, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do when I didn't answer, drop the phone and run away?

It always terrifies me when I exit Windows and it asks if I want to save changes to my document when I didn't make any.

I keep some peoples' phone numbers n my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I would rather carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than make 2 trips to the car.

How many times is it appropriate to say 'What?' before you just smile and nod because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters!

Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber every year?

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look at my watch 3 times and still not know what time it is.

Even when opportunity knocks you still have to get off your ass and open the door.
(Although I'm not the original author, I sure do agree!)

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